Harry Potter "Hello" Adele Parody

Please don't copy this or use this without my permission. Please see my republication policy.


I had a lot of fun with this. Unfortunately, I can't really sing, so the text will have to suffice

Here is the Harry Potter parody of Adele's "Hello":

Voldemort: 

Hello, Harry

I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to see

If you can beat me honestly

They say that you’re supposed to kill me

But you ain’t done much killing

Hello, can you hear me

I’m in Malfoy Manor dreaming about who I used to be

When I had a nose and could sneeze

I’ve forgotten how it felt before the curse backfired at me

There’s such a distance between us

And yet none at all

Hello from the pureblood side

I must’ve tried a thousand times

To kill Potter, but he never dies

And it don’t matter how many times I try

Hello from the Dark Lord

I’m mostly just really bored

And I want to kill some muggles and cats

And I don’t care how you feel about that anymore

Hello, sss-haassh-see

It’s so typical of me to talk in Parseltongue I’m sorry

I hope that you’re ill

Did you ever make it out of the woods where nothing ever happened?

It’s no secret that the both of us

Are running out of time

Potter & Friends: 

So hello from the Potter side!

We must’ve tried a thousand times

To tell you Potter will win in the end

So go on, send all the deatheaters in!

Hello from the D.A.!

We’re gonna make you pay

For killing all our friends and family

And we want to see you fully destroyed evermore

Ooooohh, evermore

Ooooohh, evermore

Ooooohh, evermore

Evermore

James, Lily, Sirius, Remus, Snape, Fred, etc: 

Hello from the other side

We didn’t make it out alive

‘Cause we stood up to you and your army of death

But when we did you seemed to be one step ahead.

Hello from the Order

At least our boy destroyed you

And we know that he will stay strong

And he will be the Boy Who Lives on and on evermore

Hope you enjoyed it and sang it in your head, or out loud, whichever!!

Living With Chronic Eczema

You brush your shirt off to get the tell-tale flakes of skin off only to look down two minutes later to see a million more. This is living with eczema. Part of it anyway. Every day you struggle with the embarrassment of going out in public with your skin peeling so much you look like a zombie straight out of the Walking Dead.

It's not pretty, it's not fun. Most days I wake up scratching myself in the middle of the night, worried what it's going to look like the next day. I constantly worry that the fast rate at which I shed my skin is eventually going to leave me skinless, which is absurd, but it's what runs through my head.

I've tried every lotion, cream, and medication you can name. Natural, not: I've tried it. And yes, I even tried tanning. Nothing works. The first time I was racked with this horrible skin condition, the flare up lasted a full two years.  In that time, I saw EIGHT doctors, was allergy tested multiple times, and was tested for lupus (which included blood tests and MRIs). I was even put on dangerous medications usually used for organ transplants to suppress my immune system. NOTHING WORKED. 

Eventually, I switched jobs and the symptoms started to subside on their own. I figured it must've been something I was working with, which could've been anything because I worked at Kroger. While I was pregnant, my skin looked the best it has ever looked. And, not a month after my son was born, my eczema came back worse than before.

Now I am struggling with whether or not to even bother with another pointless doctor who will give me prednisone (oral steroids) to temporarily solve the problem and a steroid cream that won't work. In the two years I suffered before I was on prednisone multiple times and gained fifty pounds from being on that medication. Never was able to drop the weight either, which is seriously unhealthy for a 5'2" person.

So I go on. I lather lotion all over and try to keep myself from scratching my scalp, my face, my chest, my stomach, my arms, my legs. I'm crossing my fingers it goes away sooner than two years this time. It's not easy to live with, and it certainly doesn't help my battle with depression and anxiety.

There is currently little research on the causes of eczema and an even smaller amount dedicated to finding a cure. I encourage you to check out the National Eczema Association. Eczema is not a fatal disease but it is debilitating and we need a cure. Eight doctors couldn't help me. Who can?

Procrastination Doesn't End After College

Not too long ago, I posted a blog about my new goals as a writer. I had ideas and plans. I even made a page with my name on it on Facebook for people to like. Well, a couple (a few) months have gone by and I am ashamed, but not surprised, to say that I have since abandoned that project in favor of multi-hour marathon Netflix watching.  I am now a pro at Netflixing, but my writing has definitely suffered at the hands of the glorious Netflix siren that sings to me when I get home from work.

I know that nothing is to blame for my procrastination except my own laziness and general apathy. I wrongly assumed that I would be much more motivated after graduating. Alas, I feel as though I am now a hundred times worse and fifty pounds heavier. Snacks are more alluring than ever and sugary soda is one of the few things I am excited for when I wake up in the morning.

What is my point in writing this? I'm honestly not sure. Maybe I feel the need to apologize to any of you who were actually waiting for me to write something. Maybe I just want to complain about myself and hope someone understands. And maybe I'm just writing this because I am too much of a procrastinator to actually work on that novel.

Sigh. *turns on Netflix* Well that's about as much writing as I can get out in one sitting nowadays. Oh good, they added new Disney Channel movies. Goodnight, I'm going to watch Princess Protection Program. Again.

Wrecked.

1:25PM: I clock out for lunch. Not sure where I'm going yet but I am hungry. I jump in my car and decide something quick is best. McDonalds. Five minutes is all it would take. 

1:35PM: Already ordered. Put my food in my passenger seat and my coke in the cup holder. I pull up to the entrance, look left and right. Okay I can pull out now, I thought. There is a moving truck turning into McDonalds. I put my foot onto the gas and make a left turn. 

1:36PM: I pass through one lane. I get to the second and see a truck. So close. There is only time for me to throw up my arm and scream in fear. The impact crushes my door into my side. I hear it. It is the loudest and most dreadful sound I've ever heard. My window shatters. Glass all over me. My coke busts and wet soda is flung across me. I feel cold. I continue to scream as the man in the truck asks me if I am okay. I don't know if I'm okay. 

1:40PM: I call my manager because I know she can call my mom and Michael. I know I can't . I can barely breathe. I can't wrap my head around the fact that I am trapped in this car and I have no idea what is hurting or if I am okay. My hand is bleeding. 

1:42PM: A policeman is talking to me. I hear him say ambulance. I nod. Yes. I need one. My other manager shows up. She holds my hand and sits in the car with me. I think about how wonderful she is. I'm crying. 

1:50PM: It's so cold outside. I'm shaking from the cold and from being nervous. The fire truck is here. They tell me they are going to have to cut my door. They put a blanket up to protect me from glass. After a couple of minutes I feel the door come further into my side. I yell out. They stop and try to do it another way. My car is being ripped open. 

1:55PM: They tell me not to move. They will move me. It's very hard not to move. They slide me onto a board and get me out of the car. All I can see are blue skies above me. They load me into the ambulance alongside the man that was in the truck. 

2:00PM: They are asking me what hurts. I'm too upset and anxious. Then the pain starts to set in. My hand. My neck. My shoulder. My side. I hear the driver say I could have internal bleeding. I could be paralyzed. It doesn't help my anxiety. 

2:15PM: After the longest ride of my life, we are at the hospital. She tells me they are taking me to trauma. Just in case. I'm terrified. All I can see is what is above me. I have no idea what's going on. They press on my stomach and my back. She's okay, they say. Roll her back out. 

2:17PM: My mom was there before me. And Michael. They stand around my bed as I cry some more. Dad shows up. They roll me into a room. 

2:20PM: My sister and brother-in-law show up. Daniel had been at the scene of the accident but I was already in the   ambulance. I feel loved. But I'm still scared. 

3:00PM: A doctor looks at me. Tells me we will get some X-rays. Takes my neck brace off. That's good news. The nurse gives me a pain pill. It helps. 

4:00PM: They haven't even cleaned my hand. There is still glass under me; I can feel it. 

5:00PM: I'm rolled out to get X-rays of my hand, my shoulder, and my hips. My hips started hurting at the hospital. Probably from not being able to move for hours. The nurse does all the X-rays. She was nice and it only hurt a little. I'm rolled back in the room to wait for the results. 

6:30PM: The nurse comes in. No broken bones. You'll be sore. He slaps a bandaid on my hand (which was never cleaned), gives me a prescription for ibuprofen and a muscle relaxer. I am discharged. 

7:00PM: I walk out of the hospital, crying from the pain in my hips. I survived. I was going to be okay. I had imagined so much worse as I laid in that hospital bed, listening to the nurses talk about what could be wrong with me. 

I don't know how I came out of that with only a bruised and cut up hand and incredible soreness. But I did. And I am so thankful for the people that helped me through it. 

 

And In the Beginning There Was a Writer

Here it is. All my work. Ever. All of it. In front of me. On this desk. Today begins the arduous process of going through all of this to find the good stuff. It will be a fun journey, going back through all my writing, seeing how terrible it was. And how surprisingly good it was in many ways. I'm excited to start this project and I hope you all are interested in my progress which I will be posting here. 

Notice the awesome Harry Potter journal. Just thought I'd point that out. Here's to a best seller!

The Time is Right

I used to believe I could do anything I wanted with my life.  I wanted to be a writer. I assumed I would get my English degree and then be paid to write. I was a bit naive, though I think it would be more appropriate to call it hopeful. Now, eight months have passed since I received my degree; I am not, in fact, being paid to write. 

Part of me is sad this is so and yet I wonder if I was being paid to write, would I still enjoy it? Or would it merely become a "job", a means to an end? I don't know the answer to that but I can say now I have a low stress job I am enjoying,I have been writing more often. 

Perhaps writing is a bit different from other careers people aspire to do. I have a job that pays the bills which allows me to write when I want, however I want. 

It is nice to think a novel is there at the tips of my fingers, just waiting for the moment I can jot it all down. I suppose the point I wanted to make here is your job is sometimes simply that, a job. But never give up on your dreams or stop doing what makes you happy. This is what makes us human, that we strive for something bigger and better. 

I want to be the best at my job and I also want to be a writer. Who says I can't do both?

Is Religion Right? Looking at the Pros and Cons

Life is but a small piece of our universe, one tiny instance in the grand scheme of things. Yet it is all we know, so it becomes the most important piece, the piece that must be protected and treasured. But what lies beyond life? What happened before? Is this really all there is? Are we really so naive and self-centered that we believe our minuscule lives are all there is? Human beings, animals, Earth, all surrounded by floating rocks and burning balls of light. Surely the mere structure of our universe is enough to convince someone there is more than just what we see in front of us. 

The conclusion many people come to when confronted with the incredible wonders of our planet is usually something religious. I do not deny the presence of a higher power but I also do not focus my attention on any one religion, being as I don't find any one that fits my ideas of the world. I also find it hard to believe just one could be right, yet all proponents of each religion swear they know the ultimate truth. 

I firmly believe I can respect and admire nature and science in all of its beauty and complexity without offending any "god". I also believe that respecting and honoring those around me is enough to please any so-called "righteous god" and therefore save me from any future condemnation. 

Many claim that this is simply a refusal to choose a religion, a way out. It is seen as "cheating" by trying to encompass all religions by remaining without a religion and attempting to save oneself no matter which religion ends up being right. 

To that I say, what if you are all wrong? What then? I am not refusing to choose, I am simply not convinced that any rituals and traditions would please a god any more than my beliefs in being a good and decent person would. 

Religion is often a troublemaker. For centuries, it had caused wars among those who practice different religions and even between denominations of the same religion. Most religious issues arise from extremist groups within the religion, usually a small amount of people that make a huge impact on the image of the religion itself. A prime example would be extremist Muslims who have given Islam a bad name. There are also problems with some religions ostracizing certain groups of people (certain Christian groups and LGBTQ individuals) or subjugating a group (women in many religions). 

I have no religion and would like to think I am an extremely kind and caring person who is not quick to judge or condemn. This does not mean I think religion should be done away with. Religion has many benefits to counter some of the negativity it brings. One of my biggest reasons for supporting religion is its social benefit. It often creates a feeling of community and acceptance that can lead to high self-esteem, greater involvement in society, an improved ability to speak to and approach others, and a sense of being able to give your problems to someone above you. 

That being said, not having a religion is okay too. I feel that I am socially advanced and have decent self-esteem without the help of a church. However, I know that many people need religion in their lives. I also know that I am not one of those people. 

What are your opinions on religion? Is it going to advance as time goes on or will it fade into the past? What are its benefits for you?