Harry Potter "Hello" Adele Parody

Please don't copy this or use this without my permission. Please see my republication policy.


I had a lot of fun with this. Unfortunately, I can't really sing, so the text will have to suffice

Here is the Harry Potter parody of Adele's "Hello":

Voldemort: 

Hello, Harry

I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to see

If you can beat me honestly

They say that you’re supposed to kill me

But you ain’t done much killing

Hello, can you hear me

I’m in Malfoy Manor dreaming about who I used to be

When I had a nose and could sneeze

I’ve forgotten how it felt before the curse backfired at me

There’s such a distance between us

And yet none at all

Hello from the pureblood side

I must’ve tried a thousand times

To kill Potter, but he never dies

And it don’t matter how many times I try

Hello from the Dark Lord

I’m mostly just really bored

And I want to kill some muggles and cats

And I don’t care how you feel about that anymore

Hello, sss-haassh-see

It’s so typical of me to talk in Parseltongue I’m sorry

I hope that you’re ill

Did you ever make it out of the woods where nothing ever happened?

It’s no secret that the both of us

Are running out of time

Potter & Friends: 

So hello from the Potter side!

We must’ve tried a thousand times

To tell you Potter will win in the end

So go on, send all the deatheaters in!

Hello from the D.A.!

We’re gonna make you pay

For killing all our friends and family

And we want to see you fully destroyed evermore

Ooooohh, evermore

Ooooohh, evermore

Ooooohh, evermore

Evermore

James, Lily, Sirius, Remus, Snape, Fred, etc: 

Hello from the other side

We didn’t make it out alive

‘Cause we stood up to you and your army of death

But when we did you seemed to be one step ahead.

Hello from the Order

At least our boy destroyed you

And we know that he will stay strong

And he will be the Boy Who Lives on and on evermore

Hope you enjoyed it and sang it in your head, or out loud, whichever!!

Procrastination Doesn't End After College

Not too long ago, I posted a blog about my new goals as a writer. I had ideas and plans. I even made a page with my name on it on Facebook for people to like. Well, a couple (a few) months have gone by and I am ashamed, but not surprised, to say that I have since abandoned that project in favor of multi-hour marathon Netflix watching.  I am now a pro at Netflixing, but my writing has definitely suffered at the hands of the glorious Netflix siren that sings to me when I get home from work.

I know that nothing is to blame for my procrastination except my own laziness and general apathy. I wrongly assumed that I would be much more motivated after graduating. Alas, I feel as though I am now a hundred times worse and fifty pounds heavier. Snacks are more alluring than ever and sugary soda is one of the few things I am excited for when I wake up in the morning.

What is my point in writing this? I'm honestly not sure. Maybe I feel the need to apologize to any of you who were actually waiting for me to write something. Maybe I just want to complain about myself and hope someone understands. And maybe I'm just writing this because I am too much of a procrastinator to actually work on that novel.

Sigh. *turns on Netflix* Well that's about as much writing as I can get out in one sitting nowadays. Oh good, they added new Disney Channel movies. Goodnight, I'm going to watch Princess Protection Program. Again.

And In the Beginning There Was a Writer

Here it is. All my work. Ever. All of it. In front of me. On this desk. Today begins the arduous process of going through all of this to find the good stuff. It will be a fun journey, going back through all my writing, seeing how terrible it was. And how surprisingly good it was in many ways. I'm excited to start this project and I hope you all are interested in my progress which I will be posting here. 

Notice the awesome Harry Potter journal. Just thought I'd point that out. Here's to a best seller!

The Time is Right

I used to believe I could do anything I wanted with my life.  I wanted to be a writer. I assumed I would get my English degree and then be paid to write. I was a bit naive, though I think it would be more appropriate to call it hopeful. Now, eight months have passed since I received my degree; I am not, in fact, being paid to write. 

Part of me is sad this is so and yet I wonder if I was being paid to write, would I still enjoy it? Or would it merely become a "job", a means to an end? I don't know the answer to that but I can say now I have a low stress job I am enjoying,I have been writing more often. 

Perhaps writing is a bit different from other careers people aspire to do. I have a job that pays the bills which allows me to write when I want, however I want. 

It is nice to think a novel is there at the tips of my fingers, just waiting for the moment I can jot it all down. I suppose the point I wanted to make here is your job is sometimes simply that, a job. But never give up on your dreams or stop doing what makes you happy. This is what makes us human, that we strive for something bigger and better. 

I want to be the best at my job and I also want to be a writer. Who says I can't do both?

NEW Poetry and Automatic Writing

Here's some NEW poetry, just written and a sample of automatic writing that I did for fun. Automatic writing is when you sit down with a pen and let anything and everything that you think of come down on the paper. It's fun and interesting, at the very least, though I don't know if it will make much sense.

Here and Now

I do not fear the infinite beings,
the powers I know not of.
My fear lies in the hearts of men,
in the here and now.
How can I look to the heavens
when the earth is being ravaged?
How can I sing praises
when innocent little lives are taken?
How can I look ahead
when so much can be learned from behind?
It matters not to me what awaits me in the after
but rather what awaits outside my front door.

Nightmare in the Light of Day

nightmare in the light of day
burning down a new frontier
spinning ghosts up in the sun
a danger to us all
blinding flashes of white hot fear
seldom seen by those alive
but felt deeper than a jagged knife
 to the heart
oh nightmare thou art terrible but great
take your terror to the dark of night
 and leave this land to the living

 
Automatic Writing

Blankly I stare at a wall hoping something will leap suddenly out at me, fly smack into my face and ignite a fire within me. Less is more. Write to heal. Kill to feel. Once they told me I was great. Never going to go there. I can tell you many things. Of what time, I cannot say. There is only one. Two can make four and I am nine. So saith the man. Take me to a new place. Paradise is ever closer. I loathe this feeling of hatred. Two fish go south. Evergreen boughs hanging. Towards the light. One second was all it took. Seven minutes. The escape was imminent. There are none left. Cry out and die. Weep for her. Turn to the sun. The road leads out. Corners pierce the sides. Miles out we decided to go. This is wrong. Go no further. Pick up the pieces of a broken wheel. Party pleads with you. Some say it's crazy. I've never heard a whale. Luck will have you. None of this works. But what does that mean? I cannot hear. Feel the way. Keep to the grass. Sound deafens you. Creep silently. The box was open. I didn't do it. Straight face. Stare me down. I feel it there. Once and gone. The purple lass took off. I will say no more. Except time. Wicked creases in the walls. Too bad for you. The block has been moved. Exit now. Veer left. This is the way we bite our tails. Hum, drum the day is done. But what makes man and wife. Super easy love. One in a billion. I never could say. Make one two. A barrel of them. Sometimes I see rain. Tell me more about you. I breathe too much. There are voices. Call me something fierce. Great words roll forth. Stop and tell me more. Serious now we all are. Turbines spinning in the dark. Ugly faces stare at me. The walls close in. Blackness falls. What a night. Uneasy. The long stretch ahead. Looming ever nearer. Tracks on a forest floor. Beaten path of song. A herd of cattle. Brains are beauty. A horse is not a cow. This is nuts. Where am I? Alone and afraid. Time will tell. Now is not the time. Understand me fully. Listen to what I said. Look and be made new. Clear your head.

Hidden Gems

Well, I know it has been a really long time since I have posted and for that I apologize. I was simply caught up in the excitement of graduating and actually knowing what it feels like to relax. I have read three books already since graduation. It is lovely to be able to enjoy reading again. I also went through my college notes and found some hidden gems of writing that I would love to share with you all. Enjoy!

Nothing and Everything

It seems unnecessary.
She stops and stares at the drops as they hit the river.
I notice the wet moss beneath me.
She turns and presents a tiny frog. It leaps from her hand and hits the water.
I am listening, not watching, not moving. I am contemplating the idea of self.
Pine trees sway, needles mixed with rain, littering the forest floor.
"Why can't you do this for me?"
I still won't acknowledge the voice, but I hear the pleading.
A bird dances across the rocks, making tiny wet tracks, dark gray upon light.
"I am nothing and everything at once."


Fleeting

And after death?
What happens then?
My "impact" on life
will disappear
as quickly as a schoolgirl crush.
My writing will be trashed,
burned,
scattered,
much like the ashes of
my useless body.
My floating spirit,
attached to nothing,
can claim no longer
these snatches of
words and phrases.

Wow...What a Great Audience

Yeah, I quoted South Park in my title. I dare you not to read that in Jimmy's voice now that I've told you that. Anyway, I am extremely happy that many of you have been reading my blog. I really appreciate the support and I hope you continue to read! Today I have a bunch of studying and paper writing to do for finals so I will be writing again soon. Ta-ta!

"None of them knew the color of the sky"

-Stephen Crane, The Open Boat

I'm writing a paper about naturalism in American Literature. It's on Stephen Crane's The Open Boat and Jack London's The Law of Life. I've been reading through some literary journals on both of the stories and have really learned a lot from them. I love how you can read a story once and not really get it, but the more you read it, the more profound it gets. 

I know my stories have not reached this level yet, but I hope to one day be the subject of an essay in a literary journal. I would love for someone to take the time to consider the meaning behind my writing. It is both an exciting and daunting thing to imagine, someone judging your creations.

Well, I am going to put the laptop up for the night and chill. I hope you all have a great night!

Off Day

It is really hard to be motivated on my off day. All I want to do is lay in bed and not accomplish anything. Unfortunately, I have a paper due tomorrow, so that's not happening.

I hope you all have had time to read some of my poetry and stories. I am really excited to start sharing my writing with a larger audience.

Remember, if there is something you have always wanted to do, do it! I waited to long to start being serious about my writing. It is a great feeling to know that I am actually accomplishing something.

Of course, there are those people who will not support you, who you feel like judge you for trying to do something else with your life that is different. But I say, ignore those people. Take charge of your life and do what you love.

Finally!

Finally put some poetry and short stories on the website. I hope you all enjoy reading them. If you have any feedback, please feel free to tell me, I am open to suggestions and healthy criticism!

Today has been wonderful for me. I feel like I am actually working hard to do something I love. It's a great feeling to put so much effort into writing. I used to write so much that I could barely feel my hand. There were a bunch of notebooks and pages lying around my room with ideas and story lines scribbled upon them. I can't wait to do that again.

Starting Something New

Hello! I'm a writer from Kentucky trying to break into the world of fiction. I would love to share my thoughts and ideas with you on here. Please feel free to contact me and ask questions. I'm very excited to start this new phase of my life.