Living With Chronic Eczema

You brush your shirt off to get the tell-tale flakes of skin off only to look down two minutes later to see a million more. This is living with eczema. Part of it anyway. Every day you struggle with the embarrassment of going out in public with your skin peeling so much you look like a zombie straight out of the Walking Dead.

It's not pretty, it's not fun. Most days I wake up scratching myself in the middle of the night, worried what it's going to look like the next day. I constantly worry that the fast rate at which I shed my skin is eventually going to leave me skinless, which is absurd, but it's what runs through my head.

I've tried every lotion, cream, and medication you can name. Natural, not: I've tried it. And yes, I even tried tanning. Nothing works. The first time I was racked with this horrible skin condition, the flare up lasted a full two years.  In that time, I saw EIGHT doctors, was allergy tested multiple times, and was tested for lupus (which included blood tests and MRIs). I was even put on dangerous medications usually used for organ transplants to suppress my immune system. NOTHING WORKED. 

Eventually, I switched jobs and the symptoms started to subside on their own. I figured it must've been something I was working with, which could've been anything because I worked at Kroger. While I was pregnant, my skin looked the best it has ever looked. And, not a month after my son was born, my eczema came back worse than before.

Now I am struggling with whether or not to even bother with another pointless doctor who will give me prednisone (oral steroids) to temporarily solve the problem and a steroid cream that won't work. In the two years I suffered before I was on prednisone multiple times and gained fifty pounds from being on that medication. Never was able to drop the weight either, which is seriously unhealthy for a 5'2" person.

So I go on. I lather lotion all over and try to keep myself from scratching my scalp, my face, my chest, my stomach, my arms, my legs. I'm crossing my fingers it goes away sooner than two years this time. It's not easy to live with, and it certainly doesn't help my battle with depression and anxiety.

There is currently little research on the causes of eczema and an even smaller amount dedicated to finding a cure. I encourage you to check out the National Eczema Association. Eczema is not a fatal disease but it is debilitating and we need a cure. Eight doctors couldn't help me. Who can?

On the Prowl for a Job

Today I finally made a nice updated resume and discussed and researched job interview techniques with my wonderful sister. Well, I had previously looked up some jobs that I was interested in (two days ago) and when I went back to apply, they were not posted anymore. It was a good lesson. Now I know if I am interested in a job, I need to apply for it as soon as I see it to make sure I get a chance.

I found one job that I applied to tonight and one that I have to apply to in person, so that will probably happen tomorrow. Both are as teachers at childcare centers and to be honest, I am not sure I meet the exact qualifications but I am interested and I know it is something I would enjoy and be good at. I will continue to check for jobs everyday until I get something, but I know it will probably take a while. For now, I must just bide my time and save money as best as I can until I can get into a career that I love.

So for those of you who just graduated, like me, and are looking for a job remember to have a nice, clean, updated, one page resume. Also make sure you have at least three references that are not friends or family. Research the companies you are applying to and be diligent. Keep checking job sites and try to remember that you will find something eventually, but maybe not right away.

Holiday? What holiday?

Thanksgiving, a break from work and school. A relaxing time to spend with--wait....no, no, no. I'm not sure about you guys but I am exhausted from this supposed "holiday". I've been working more than usual, and even on Thanksgiving, spending a lot of time with family and going from this place to that. I love the family time, but there has definitely not been any relaxation for me. And there is never a break from school. This coming week is my last full week. Final papers, final exams, not the time to slack off.

I think everything should just shut down on Thanksgiving. If you haven't gotten your groceries before that day, too bad. That's your fault for poor planning. At least on Christmas my work is closed. Everyone deserves at least one day a year to relax.

I just got back from seeing a movie with my sister and now I plan to do absolutely nothing for the rest of the night but sit on my butt and watch American Horror Story.

Weekend Stress

I haven't been able to post in a couple days what with work and seeing the family and everything. That's nothing to complain about though. I have a job and a wonderful family to spend time with. Now it's time to settle in for the night and begin the homework that's due tomorrow. I am a terrible procrastinator, but I'm sure any of you who have gone or are going to school understand that.

The past couple of days have been pretty hard for me. My unsolved skin problems are just getting worse. After two years, I can honestly say I just want to peel all my skin off and get some new skin. Disgusting, I know, but really no one seems to be able to find a solution for me. Next week I will be seeing my fifth dermatologist and the eighth doctor for this same problem. No one seems to know what's wrong or how to fix it. Incredibly frustrating. It's hard to keep positive and continue on when things seem so dismal. I just have to remind myself of all the things I do have and try not to dwell on the the bad stuff.

Have any of you ever gone through so many doctors? Do you know what it is like to not know what is wrong with you? I'm sure there are many people who know what I'm going through.

So today, if you have good health, be thankful. And even if you don't, try your hardest to simply be thankful for all the things you do have: family, friends, a job, a home....

Stay strong. Keep your head up. Remember life is hard, but so worth it.