Tuesday, April 12, 2016

NOW ON WORDPRESS

I've moved my blog to a new location. Go here: Illusion of Intelligence ! Thanks!

Monday, January 25, 2016

Hammy Potter-The World Will Never Be the Same

If you haven't graced your ears with the sound of Hamilton, An American Musical, do so now. You will be a better person for it, I guarantee it. Hamilton is an entertaining, fresh take on United States history. It weaves a story with rap, hip-hop, and R&B. It'll have you dancing in your seat while you unintentionally learn some pretty amazing stuff. I'm a person who never really liked US History, and I am obsessed with this musical. Lin-Manuel Miranda is a lyrical genius! It is telling that a lot of people are obsessed with this musical without even having seen it yet. The soundtrack alone pulls you in. You are emotionally connected from the moment Lin-Manuel tells us "My name is Alexander Hamilton."

Because I am so emotionally tied up in this musical, the words are always running through my mind, I had an idea the other day while perusing on my Harry Potter fan group on Facebook. What Hogwarts house would A. Ham have been in? Well, of course that led to a list of major characters and what houses I think they most align with. And now, I'm sharing it with you. Here are my best guesses at the Hogwarts houses of our Hamilton heroes.

Alexander Hamilton-Slytherin
         "What? Slytherin???" you say. Here's how I see it. Hamilton was ambitious and he did what it took to rise up. The Reynolds Pamphlet is a great example of his inability to see past his legacy. He was quick to action and rarely considered consequences. His mouth got him into trouble quite a lot. Hamilton fits the bill of an ambitious, focused, intelligent Slytherin.

Eliza Schulyer Hamilton-Ravenclaw
         Beautiful, wonderful Eliza. She is smart, kind, witty. She also was very driven and creative, especially after Alexander's death.

Angelica Schulyer-Ravenclaw
          Much like her sister, Angelica is exactly what you expect from a Ravenclaw, but I think even more so. Her wit and intelligence often outshine her sisters. She is also fiercely independent and knows exactly what she has to do to survive in this world, like marry an old boring dude because he's rich.

Peggy Schulyer-Hufflepuff
          Quiet. Doesn't want to cause trouble or get into trouble. Extremely loyal to her father. Total Hufflepuff.

Aaron Burr-Slytherin
          I was back and forth on Burr. Initially I wanted to put him in Gryffindor, but then I realized he has more Slytherin qualities. He was blinded by his want of power and need to succeed. He shot Hamilton because of it. He was intelligent, confident to a fault, and extremely manipulative. His careful political tactic of not really saying what he supported in order to get ahead sealed the deal for me for him being a Slytherin.

Thomas Jefferson-Slytherin
          So sue me, I think a lot of these guys are Slytherins. Jefferson was another that did what it took to get ahead. (Maybe most politicians are Slytherins). He was also very intelligent but definitely wanted to point it out. He was quick to take credit for making a deal with Hamilton.

George Washington-Gryffindor
         The brave, intelligent soldier George Washington. He knew when to ask for assistance from Hamilton, and was not afraid to point out that they were in deep trouble. Washington was a leader and commanded respect without ever having to ask for it.

Phillip Hamilton-Hufflepuff
        Always and forever loyal to his father. Kind, but fool hardy.

Hercules Mulligan-Gryffindor
       Fun, brave, loud, the guy you want at the party. What more can I say? Hercules is a true Gryffindor.

Lafayette-Gryffindor
       America's favorite fighting Frenchman. Willing to stick his neck out for the colonies, Lafayette was a brave soul and was fiercely adamant about freedom.

Last, but certainly not least:

King George III-Hufflepuff
       The worst kind of Hufflepuff. Whiny, entitled, and unaware he makes mistakes himself, King George best embodies the dreadful Harry Potter character Zacharias Smith.

Well, this has been a fun Hammy Potter mash up. Do you agree with the houses I picked? Let me know in the comments what houses you would choose!

And P.S. LISTEN TO HAMILTON! DO IT!



Thursday, December 24, 2015

Supernatural Christmas Song "All I Want For Christmas is Food"

Because I had so much fun with the Harry Potter parody, I decided to go for a holiday theme today and a different fandom. So sing along to the tune of Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas is You as Dean from Supernatural:

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOOD

I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don’t care about the demons
Out hunting for you and me
I just want some apple pie
And maybe to just stay alive
Make my wish come true oh
All I want for Christmas is food

I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need, and I
Don’t care about the angels
Satan, Death, or changelings
I don’t want to hang a vampire 
There upon these rusty chains
Sam please just make me happy
Give this up for just one day

I just want to take a break
Eat some pie and a giant steak
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is food

I won’t ask for much this Christmas
I won’t even wish for Dad, and I 
I just wanna keep on eating
And forget that I’m so sad

I won’t stop at the gas station
And pick up some pointless gift
I won’t even spike some punch
To knock myself out, then get sick

‘Cause I just want some food tonight
Stuffing my face, it’s oh so right
What more can I do
Oh, yeah, all I want for Christmas is food

All the monsters grinning
So bloody everywhere
And the sound of children’s 
Screaming fills the air

And everyone is dying
I hear my mother crying
Sam just take a break
Please do this for me
Won’t you please slice this pie for me quickly

I don’t want a lot for Christmas
This is all I’m asking for
I just wanna eat some pie
And not lock the hotel room door

I just want to eat all day
And pretend that I don’t know
That we are surely doomed
Yeah, all I want for Christmas is food

All I want for Christmas is food


And maybe just a freakin break Sam. Here, have some pie.


Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Harry Potter "Hello" Adele Parody

Please don't copy this or use this without my permission. Please see my republication policy.


I had a lot of fun with this. Unfortunately, I can't really sing, so the text will have to suffice

Here is the Harry Potter parody of Adele's "Hello":


Voldemort: 
Hello, Harry
I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to see
If you can beat me honestly
They say that you’re supposed to kill me
But you ain’t done much killing

Hello, can you hear me
I’m in Malfoy Manor dreaming about who I used to be
When I had a nose and could sneeze
I’ve forgotten how it felt before the curse backfired at me

There’s such a distance between us
And yet none at all

Hello from the pureblood side
I must’ve tried a thousand times
To kill Potter, but he never dies
And it don’t matter how many times I try

Hello from the Dark Lord
I’m mostly just really bored
And I want to kill some muggles and cats
And I don’t care how you feel about that anymore

Hello, sss-haassh-see
It’s so typical of me to talk in Parseltongue I’m sorry
I hope that you’re ill
Did you ever make it out of the woods where nothing ever happened?

It’s no secret that the both of us
Are running out of time

Potter & Friends: 
So hello from the Potter side!
We must’ve tried a thousand times
To tell you Potter will win in the end
So go on, send all the deatheaters in!
Hello from the D.A.!
We’re gonna make you pay
For killing all our friends and family
And we want to see you fully destroyed evermore

Ooooohh, evermore
Ooooohh, evermore
Ooooohh, evermore
Evermore

James, Lily, Sirius, Remus, Snape, Fred, etc: 
Hello from the other side
We didn’t make it out alive
‘Cause we stood up to you and your army of death
But when we did you seemed to be one step ahead.
Hello from the Order
At least our boy destroyed you
And we know that he will stay strong
And he will be the Boy Who Lives on and on evermore


Hope you enjoyed it and sang it in your head, or out loud, whichever!!

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Living With Chronic Eczema

You brush your shirt off to get the tell-tale flakes of skin off only to look down two minutes later to see a million more. This is living with eczema. Part of it anyway. Every day you struggle with the embarrassment of going out in public with your skin peeling so much you look like a zombie straight out of the Walking Dead.
It's not pretty, it's not fun. Most days I wake up scratching myself in the middle of the night, worried what it's going to look like the next day. I constantly worry that the fast rate at which I shed my skin is eventually going to leave me skinless, which is absurd, but it's what runs through my head.
I've tried every lotion, cream, and medication you can name. Natural, not: I've tried it. And yes, I even tried tanning. Nothing works. The first time I was racked with this horrible skin condition, the flare up lasted a full two years.  In that time, I saw EIGHT doctors, was allergy tested multiple times, and was tested for lupus (which included blood tests and MRIs). I was even put on dangerous medications usually used for organ transplants to suppress my immune system. NOTHING WORKED. 
Eventually, I switched jobs and the symptoms started to subside on their own. I figured it must've been something I was working with, which could've been anything because I worked at Kroger. While I was pregnant, my skin looked the best it has ever looked. And, not a month after my son was born, my eczema came back worse than before.
Now I am struggling with whether or not to even bother with another pointless doctor who will give me prednisone (oral steroids) to temporarily solve the problem and a steroid cream that won't work. In the two years I suffered before I was on prednisone multiple times and gained fifty pounds from being on that medication. Never was able to drop the weight either, which is seriously unhealthy for a 5'2" person.
So I go on. I lather lotion all over and try to keep myself from scratching my scalp, my face, my chest, my stomach, my arms, my legs. I'm crossing my fingers it goes away sooner than two years this time. It's not easy to live with, and it certainly doesn't help my battle with depression and anxiety.
There is currently little research on the causes of eczema and an even smaller amount dedicated to finding a cure. I encourage you to check out the National Eczema Association. Eczema is not a fatal disease but it is debilitating and we need a cure. Eight doctors couldn't help me. Who can?

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Procrastination Doesn't End After College

Not too long ago, I posted a blog about my new goals as a writer. I had ideas and plans. I even made a page with my name on it on Facebook for people to like. Well, a couple (a few) months have gone by and I am ashamed, but not surprised, to say that I have since abandoned that project in favor of multi-hour marathon Netflix watching.  I am now a pro at Netflixing, but my writing has definitely suffered at the hands of the glorious Netflix siren that sings to me when I get home from work.

I know that nothing is to blame for my procrastination except my own laziness and general apathy. I wrongly assumed that I would be much more motivated after graduating. Alas, I feel as though I am now a hundred times worse and fifty pounds heavier. Snacks are more alluring than ever and sugary soda is one of the few things I am excited for when I wake up in the morning.

What is my point in writing this? I'm honestly not sure. Maybe I feel the need to apologize to any of you who were actually waiting for me to write something. Maybe I just want to complain about myself and hope someone understands. And maybe I'm just writing this because I am too much of a procrastinator to actually work on that novel.

Sigh. *turns on Netflix* Well that's about as much writing as I can get out in one sitting nowadays. Oh good, they added new Disney Channel movies. Goodnight, I'm going to watch Princess Protection Program. Again.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Wrecked.

1:25PM: I clock out for lunch. Not sure where I'm going yet but I am hungry. I jump in my car and decide something quick is best. McDonalds. Five minutes is all it would take. 

1:35PM: Already ordered. Put my food in my passenger seat and my coke in the cup holder. I pull up to the entrance, look left and right. Okay I can pull out now, I thought. There is a moving truck turning into McDonalds. I put my foot onto the gas and make a left turn. 

1:36PM: I pass through one lane. I get to the second and see a truck. So close. There is only time for me to throw up my arm and scream in fear. The impact crushes my door into my side. I hear it. It is the loudest and most dreadful sound I've ever heard. My window shatters. Glass all over me. My coke busts and wet soda is flung across me. I feel cold. I continue to scream as the man in the truck asks me if I am okay. I don't know if I'm okay. 

1:40PM: I call my manager because I know she can call my mom and Michael. I know I can't . I can barely breathe. I can't wrap my head around the fact that I am trapped in this car and I have no idea what is hurting or if I am okay. My hand is bleeding. 

1:42PM: A policeman is talking to me. I hear him say ambulance. I nod. Yes. I need one. My other manager shows up. She holds my hand and sits in the car with me. I think about how wonderful she is. I'm crying. 

1:50PM: It's so cold outside. I'm shaking from the cold and from being nervous. The fire truck is here. They tell me they are going to have to cut my door. They put a blanket up to protect me from glass. After a couple of minutes I feel the door come further into my side. I yell out. They stop and try to do it another way. My car is being ripped open. 

1:55PM: They tell me not to move. They will move me. It's very hard not to move. They slide me onto a board and get me out of the car. All I can see are blue skies above me. They load me into the ambulance alongside the man that was in the truck. 

2:00PM: They are asking me what hurts. I'm too upset and anxious. Then the pain starts to set in. My hand. My neck. My shoulder. My side. I hear the driver say I could have internal bleeding. I could be paralyzed. It doesn't help my anxiety. 

2:15PM: After the longest ride of my life, we are at the hospital. She tells me they are taking me to trauma. Just in case. I'm terrified. All I can see is what is above me. I have no idea what's going on. They press on my stomach and my back. She's okay, they say. Roll her back out. 

2:17PM: My mom was there before me. And Michael. They stand around my bed as I cry some more. Dad shows up. They roll me into a room. 

2:20PM: My sister and brother-in-law show up. Daniel had been at the scene of the accident but I was already in the   ambulance. I feel loved. But I'm still scared. 

3:00PM: A doctor looks at me. Tells me we will get some X-rays. Takes my neck brace off. That's good news. The nurse gives me a pain pill. It helps. 

4:00PM: They haven't even cleaned my hand. There is still glass under me; I can feel it. 

5:00PM: I'm rolled out to get X-rays of my hand, my shoulder, and my hips. My hips started hurting at the hospital. Probably from not being able to move for hours. The nurse does all the X-rays. She was nice and it only hurt a little. I'm rolled back in the room to wait for the results. 

6:30PM: The nurse comes in. No broken bones. You'll be sore. He slaps a bandaid on my hand (which was never cleaned), gives me a prescription for ibuprofen and a muscle relaxer. I am discharged. 

7:00PM: I walk out of the hospital, crying from the pain in my hips. I survived. I was going to be okay. I had imagined so much worse as I laid in that hospital bed, listening to the nurses talk about what could be wrong with me. 

I don't know how I came out of that with only a bruised and cut up hand and incredible soreness. But I did. And I am so thankful for the people that helped me through it.